Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas! So I am home in Michigan and it has been great. I have wanted to blog more, but I just can't face my 28k internet for that long, it's draining. But I really wanted to post on this special day. I want to share a poem written by Henry Wordsworth Longfellow during the Civil War...

'I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along The unbroken song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound The carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent The hearth-stones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head; "There is no peace on earth," I said: "For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead; nor doth he sleep! The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men!" '

...So we may no longer be hearing cannons from the south, but I know for me there is so much brokenness in the world that it easily takes the cannons place and drowns out the bells, their carols, and the words of peace on earth, good-will to men. But we must be truly thankful for today. The songs chime louder than the sounds of hate because of today. Because of Jesus Christ, God incarnate. How powerful the incarnation is. Simply mindblowing. Or rather, profoundly mindblowing. A truly awesome thing. I sit here in wonder as I only begin to think about it. Today I am happy to be celebrating the coming of a babe who turned the world on its head and gave, and continues to give, hope to all.

Merry Christmas.

advent

i have been meaning to post about advent for some time. well, really just since it started. so in the perfect blogging world i would have posted 9 days ago on this. i didn't post right away though because i wanted to give advent its due. growing up advent meant christmas was close, like really close. i knew once those purple banners started being walked down to aisle on sunday morning that my christmas list should already be passed to my mom and that soon we would have a break from school and that i would get to see my family and that it was just a great time of year. none of that is a bad thing (well, besides the shallow consumeristic desires of my childhood christmas lists, but that is a whole other post in and of itself), but none of it really had anything to do with advent. for me advent equaled almost christmas. which, isn't necessarily wrong, but it isn't necessarily right. the last couple years my understanding, or rather my desire to understand advent has grown. i no longer look past it to christmas, but i want to recognize it and learn from and thus perhaps my christmas experience will carry the significance that it is worthy of. i want to spend at least a few posts on the topic of advent because this will enable me to continue to learn more and will remind me to continue to prepare for christmas.

i have learned a lot in my initial readings about advent. some good basics like advent is latin for 'to come.' and how the candles mean different things in different traditions, but some of the basics are christ is the light of the world, expectation/joy, and christ is the prince of peace. one thing that i thought was interesting was this kind of debate as advent became more recognized as to whether it was a season of penitence and fasting or anticipation and hope or celebration. i guess people didn't really want two lents so they felt the had to throw a little anticipation and hope in the mix. in reflecting on it a bit i think it is good it is all these dynamics. with advent being the first season of the church calendar, it is (obviously) the beginning of the church year. this got me thinking of the beginnings of people's spiritual journeys. so often the beginning is all about recognizing a need. for our own personal faith story we start out with the realization that we need a savior to come and reconcile us to God. as a church we also realize we need Christ. its good that every year the church starts out knowing that Christ has come and that we don't have it all figured out and that he is coming again. because he will some day come and fully redeem this world. so why shouldn't this be a complex season with feelings of penitence, hope, AND celebration. christ's incarnation was a big deal. huge. i really think we aren't humanly able to even approach an understanding of all its implications. but i don't want to get ahead of myself, it's not quite christmas yet. the sole reminder of beginnings and how much we needed and now very much still need a savior and how the feelings of penitence, hope, and celebration all tie into that will keep me thinking for some time.

genuine thankfulness and genuine service

this saturday my church, quest, hosted a thanksgiving meal for the homeless community. actually, they hosted two meals. a five o'clock and a seven o'clock. over 150 homeless people came and were fed. but it wasn't just about the food. the invitation and the fellowship were instrumental in making the night "a success." the people i talked to were so happy and so appreciative to be there. to see them enjoying each other's company as they ate is what really made it a thanksgiving meal. it was great to be able to sit down with them and hear their stories and talk about their experiences.

but as i think about it a couple days later the thing that strikes me isn't the 150 people served, but the 50 people who volunteered to make it all happen. people were more than willing to come and help. there were more than enough people to set up, decorate, cook, serve, sit and chat, and clean up. i even think pastor deanza had to turn away help because so many people volunteered. people (me included) really wanted to help and be involved. quest is pretty clear about its stance on how believers need to be serving the poor and marginalized and this was a great example of that. not just the meal itself, but the number of people turning out to help for it. but i am still a little concerned...

i guess i kind of fear that we, the numerous volunteers, will look at our contribution, pat ourselves on the back, check off our service to the poor box, and wait until next year to think about how we can serve the homeless again, most likely, via the thanksgiving meal. but when christ talks about providing for the "least of these" it isn't a check a box off kind of service. its a-your heart yearns to provide for the least of these. you understood that serving the destitute was as true of a love for christ as one can find. you didn't do it to ease your conscience, but because you truly understood that christ called us to continually care for the poor. but how do we make caring for those in need part of the fabric of who we are? we need to make it so our heart is always seeking to serve, not just so our minds can feel at ease. but it does start with being intentional, looking to serve, and looking to do it as often as possible. i think part of the answer lies in something i already mentioned. quest cares about the poor and the marginalized. its leadership understands this and there is a core of people who really see christ in those who are in need in the community. lord willing that core becomes a core of 50+. that the social justice and compassion ministry is strengthened by the volunteers growing hearts. that quest members would continue to be encouraged and challenged in their service. that innovation and creativity would continue to spring up. that we would truly understand christ's call to serve the least of these all the time. lord hear our prayer.

books and THE book

lots of thoughts bouncing around in this head of mine. trying to make some connections, trying to create some articulation. i fasted today. it had been a while since i last embraced this spiritual discipline. it was good. still a lot of praying, thinking, discussing, and journaling to be done, but its been a good day. i have been learning a lot lately, it has been good. i am reading a few books right now. jesus for president by shane claiborne, the great emergence by phyllis tickle, rich christians in an age of hunger by ronald j. sider, and i just picked up the cloister walk by kathleen norris but i havent started it yet. its a lot of reading (obviously i don't have a job...yet), its good stuff. but i am realizing more of late its important to be staying in the word too. kind of why i bought the cloister walk...uh...yeah. i wanted to get down with my liturgical self and look into developing some good disciplines.

i was reading jesus for president the other day and shane was talking about creatively responding to Christ's message. and placed prominently placed in these steps for reimagining the world was reading the Bible. not a huge revelation or news flash there, but it struck me. we can be reading all these books about church movements and our roles as christians in this world we live in, but even more importantly is getting truth straight from the word. if we are looking for a creative response then that is huge. in my realization that being a christian is bigger than just being personally disciplined and "having devotions" every day i have lost sight of the simple truth that the Bible is still the most important book i can ever read, a good thing to remember as i seek God's wisdom.

in an uncharacteristic blog move driven in curiousity i want to know what "my blog readers" (aka you few friends and family out there) are reading. leave a comment. how is it? any revelations from it?

imagination and responding to revelation

i heard shane claiborne speak at Quest on sunday. a few random thoughts from it...

-the man is funny
-his southern accent is stronger than i thought it would be
-he speaks with truth (not a surprise)
-he spoke simply
-i wish i could have heard a little more about intentional community from him
-he is a truly humble dude
-its no wonder eugene and he get along. part of what he said was exactly what eugene spoke about that day in church. makes me grateful for great teaching in my community.
-two things i really took from it was first, a call to more imagination in our pursuit to love God and love our neighbor. and second, the simple articulation of something that has been on my mind for some time now-a need for us to respond to revelation.

these two things were the big go-aways for me. we need a creativity in our love, in our response. they are tied very closely together. our convictions and our response. i think we often look around us to see how others are responding to similar convictions or revelations, but i God doesn't say look at others and then love. God/Christ say look at Christ. thing is, Christ lived 2000 years ago, his words remain true, but our context has changed. JC didn't have the internet, cars, cell phones, 21st century culture, or globalization. but he did have the marginalized. he did have neighbors. he did have a Father. and he called us to love those people. we need to be creative and imaginative in how we do that. there are many people out there not doing it well so surely we don't want to copy them. there are people out there doing it well, but is copying them all God wants us to do? we need to learning, we need to be discussing, we need to be imagining, and we need to be responding. for the most part this can be done individually, but i believe for it to be done best, it should happen in community.

i have just been invited to join a "book club." we are reading jesus for president, shane's latest book. i am excited for great discussion, but i am also excited to have intentional time to talk with people who's heart strings are being tugged at in some of the same ways mine are, but as importantly, are being tugged at in different ways as well. it's my hope that we all may grow and that we can imagine even greater things together and then, of course, respond.

a whirlwind week

i returned back to seattle on friday night. it was the end of a crazy week. on monday ric and i woke up early and caught a ride from nh to boston with a friend. from boston we took the megabus to new york and then on to dc. when we arrived in dc my cousins picked us up and we stay at their place in virginia. we spent the next two days checking out dc and adam was able to come down from delaware (where he is serving in the air force) and hang out with us which is really cool. we watched election results* from a bar in georgetown and then on the huge plasma tv that my cousins have. i really enjoyed dc. it was my first time. it was good to see all the things i so long learned about in us history class. it was lots of history, lots of information, and lots of patriotism and pride. a very interesting experience.

from dc we went up to nyc for two days and stayed with our friend beth ann. she lives in spanish harlem, it was sweet. the city is big, needless to say. lots of concrete, lots of famous places. it was good to see it firsthand. it would be cool to go back some time and check out neighborhoods other than manhatten and see what that is like also. it was a good time though. some highlights/cool random parts were visiting jamie in her apartment that overlooks time square and walking along st. marks place with beth ann, ashley, and ric.

it was a long week though. by the end of it my feet, knees, and back were killing me. on friday night i flew from nyc to seattle and had a great weekend. watched arsenal beat man u in a crowded pub on saturday morning, hung out with bk and josh a lot, went to quest with carly and tay, and heard shane claiborne* speak at quest last night. it was a great week and its good to be back in seattle. not sure when i will be interviewing (the big reason i am back in seattle), but it should be soon.

*i will post more about the election and shane claiborne this week, i just needed to write out where i have been, not only so you could know, but also so i could reflect a bit on the experiences as well.

follow up verse from yesterday

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.

- 1 John 4:18

conveying love and hope, not fear

To speak truthfully, I am a little angry right now. An anger that I feel is completely justified. I just came across a letter that was put out by one of James Dobson's groups, Focus on the Family Action. The letter is written from the point of view of a "Christian" in 2012 if Obama wins the election next week. The thing that upsets me about the letter is very simple (and it has little to do with my political beliefs). I see it as a blatant attempt to perpetuate fear in people's hearts (particularly social conservatives). Here is a link to the article that lead me to the letter.

Now I realize that Christians have many different views on social and political issues. And in many ways, I am okay with the fact that there are differing views because even in the Bible early Christians found themselves not always seeing eye to eye (i.e. 1 Corinthians 8) and it wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I think that when the disagreement happens there should be discussion rooted in love though. There should be a recognition that we have the same hope, even if we don't necessarily have the same outlook on how that hope will come to pass.

I believe the Gospel is not about fear. It's a Gospel of love and hope. And love and hope should be our message as Christians. I heard a pastor say one time that the devil really only has two tools-a fear of future and a shame of past. I think we as Christians need to be more than wary when we see the same tactics used to influence others as an attempt to support what is "right."

love, anger, hope, injustice, joy-a few thoughts on Psalm 67

here are a few quotes that have made me stop and think in the last week...

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. - Barbara Kingsolver

We must talk about poverty, because people insulated by their own comfort lose sight of it. - Dorothy Day

Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King Jr

If we had been holier people, we would have been angrier oftener. - John Templeton

...i just found the last one, but i like it. i fear the day when i fail to get angry in the face of injustice. even now i am frustrated because i feel as though the anger fades from me to quickly. but there is hope-God is really persistent (so long as we are listening). i often hear of injustice and want to change it, but then become overwhelmed or distracted and thus, not effective in finding a solution and thus, still part of the problem. but God is persistent, i continue to be convicted in my path to being a part of a (the?) solution. my heart is being changed and although i don't know what the future looks like i find myself building up the courage to face injustice issues, be they poverty, human trafficking, preventable disease, hunger, child labor, fair trade, etc. etc., that need to be fought. that said-i still don't know what that looks like, but i am growing. i am preparing my heart for the time in which God calls me to actively be a part of alleviating the suffering for those without a voice. not that i can't be active now or that i am not active. but i have hopes that God would take the little things i am learning and make them big things i am doing and if that is in the plan, then i want to be ready.

the relevant experience of the day that i hope articulates some of this a little more-today for youth group we did an art response to Psalm 67. we read the Psalm and Ric set aside about 20 minutes to draw/paint/color anything we felt led to in response to the passage. my interpretation of Psalm 67 is that its a picture of the kingdom yet to come. it speaks of all nations rejoicing in the harvest and that God rules on high. i fully believe that God rules on high and that there can be several types of harvests, but as far as there being enough food for every one and a joy that everyone experiences because of this provision, i don't think we are quite there. so i made my art, it had a sun shining on the earth, with a wheat harvest on the bottom, but there was a lot of space left and i couldn't articulate these feelings i was having about the fact that there are nations and people who aren't experiencing a full harvest, who don't have food on the table, who have almost no reason to sing for joy and i didn't just want to leave this unstated like i have in the past. it needed to be a part of my response. i mean, i know there is still reason for joy. we are loved. no matter how little food one might have there is still a God in heaven who loves us and thus reason to have joy, but i would have to imagine when your starving and don't have clean water to drink then you find yourself hoping a little harder for some tangible expression of that love. and i think you hope to God for those things, but doesn't God hope we respond to those needs as well? God calls us to respond to those needs to be the kingdom on heaven on earth and to bring this harvest. and so we must possess a "love and hope that bring joy," which was my attempt to articulate my desired response to this calling. to be love, to have hope (because sometimes its hard) and to bring joy because that's how we can make Psalm 67 a bit more of a reality.

i hope to reflect on these types of topics in the future because really, this is a lot of what i spend time thinking about. whether it's my response, the church's response, my part in shaping people's response, or whatever. so i hope we (my faithful few readers) can talk about it some more. so comment...on whatever...maybe some discussion will better help me shape this blog and keep from just word vomiting my thoughts and experiences.

what does "processing" look like anyway?

I am currently reading River Town-Two years on the Yangtze, a New York Times best seller by Peter Hessler. Hessler served in the peace corp back in '96, just the third group of English teachers to be sent with peace corp to China. I am only 100 pages, about a third, into the book and I don't really wish to critique it or anything, but more or less get out some thoughts I have been having as I read through the book. It has been interesting reading Hessler's account of his time in China. He is a great writer and its neat to see the articulation of many of my experiences and things that I haven't really been able to articulate. I do not view myself as a writer, if for no other reason as if I felt it necessary to classify myself as such I would then need to critique myself and expect things from myself and I am just not that passionate about sitting at a computer. Plus I don't know how to not type a run-on sentence. All that said, it has been good to read the book and interesting because it is referred to as "hilarious," "mesmerizing," and "fascinating" by reviewers, yet it really isn't really any of those things to me. Having experienced a lot of the same things it is kind of just well done articulation. Of course being an outsider to such events would warrant such descriptions, but having spent the time I did there I find myself nodding my head rather than finding amusement and awe. None of this is bad, but it makes me think of where I am now. Staying with Ric in New Hampshire is obviously a completely different experience, one that I am most definitely cherishing and somehow having lofty expectations for and at the same time, no expectations at all for. The people I have met have been very nice. Anytime I am introduced to somehow who has a little time to talk I inevitably find myself talking about the past year in China. Post introduction the conversation goes a bit like this "how long you here for?" "oh, i think i will stay through the month" "that's a good amount of time" feeling the need to explain myself i respond, "i spent some time overseas and have kind of been floating since my return and i thought it would be great to come see ric and study for the gre's and what not" "oh ya, where overseas" "i taught english in china for a year" "oh that's great, how was it" ...now, i am just meeting this person, but they have asked me the most loaded question i could receive at this stage of my life next to, what does the future look like for you. but for some reason, i am unphased. i just respond, "it was good. i learned a lot. a ton about living in another culture and china and about faith (faith line sometimes included sometimes not depending on what i think the persons interest in that-i actually got a follow up question for the head pastor) it was a great experience." bam. usually right around 20-25 words. and its without hesitation. i know anyone who has had a "big" experience like this knows what i am talking about and has dealt with a lot of the same, but its tough for me because as easy as it is to rattle off that response, its equally as difficult to articulate it beyond that point. the complexity of a true, in-depth answer simply overwhelms even me-the one who had the experiences and saw it all go down. i don't feel i cheated them of anything though, because i think there is still complexity in my answer. particularly in the way i communicate the word "good" in my description. it might just be me and those close around me, but often when we say something was "good" with a certain tone and body language (that i incorporate into my previously noted description) it basically means-there were tough times, frustrating times, fun and joyfilled times, and just plain crazy times and there are a lot of people who probably could have had the same experiences and hated it and wondered what on earth they were doing, but i enjoy the challenge so i describe it to you with a truly loaded, good. that might not make sense, but for some reason i makes so much sense to me. but what else could i say? i mean, not only did i have the general "cross cultural observations," but the teaching of english, the learning of chinese, the missional living and what i saw as my purpose in that place, the developed relationships-chinese and foreigner, the solitude, and the lessons learned from those direct experiences all added another dynamic that brings a profound complexity. But I can't stop there because all of that was placed in the middle of my freshly-out-of-university-22-year-old-life that already kept my mind busy enough with thoughts on relationships, purpose, future, discipleship, and the like. I didn't just cut that part out, I continued to read and study and gain fresh perspective of those things alongside the overstimulation that was china. and being post large overseas experience creates these thoughts inside me that kind of follow this line of thought- "wow, that's a lot. i don't know if i will ever really be able to process it. wait, do i need to process it? haven't i already processed it? what am i supposed to do with that? if i don't dig through it am i apathetic or irresponsible to my experience? is there really more i can learn from "working through" and "processing" all those experiences? hmmm...i'll deal with that later." and so here i am now. just typing away. provoke by my book to scratch the surface of some of those thoughts and sharing it with you, my few faithful blog followers whose curiosity can't help them from at least scanning to find out what i am up to. you are great by the way, confident that none really made it thus far to read the token disclaimer/apology about the post length and ramblyness. but don't worry about me, i truly am well. thanks for processing with me. maybe we can do it again sometime?

to the east!

well...i went for it. i decided to forgo job searching/job applying/seattle residing for now. i will be back. but i don't know when. to be honest, i am not really sure how long i will stay with ricky in new hampshire. all i know is it won't be long enough to wear out my welcome. but he is a pretty patient guy, so maybe i should seek to be a little more definitive about these types of things. but i did decide that it was too great of an opportunity (the whole living with a best friend and experiencing New England deal) to pass up. I got a great deal on my flight out there and i know something will work out and present itself for moving on. being in seattle has been great and i hope to post a bit more about that sooner than later. but for now i will just stick to that little bit of big news in my life.

to the west!

well. i suppose it's time for an update. i am not sure what the future of this blog will be like. i started it so i could document my experiences in china and share with others some things i was seeing. i didn't really stray to far from that over the year, all though i didn't post nearly as often as i intended to. but i think that i will keep it going. it will still track my experiences, but probably in a much different way. last year i couldn't really put much of anything about my faith on here, i couldn't share a lot of the lessons of depth i had been learning. i hope to weave those into my blog a little more and thus, delve a little deeper. using the blog title in the blog...not ok. last time, i promise.

so you may be wondering, where is jake? well, right now i am currently in seattle, sitting on a worn-in gray couch that makes its home at the bethany presbyterian youth house. a couple friends of mine have decided to save me from vagrancy and take me in while i search for a place to live/work. i am sleeping in a small closet-a much better setup than the couch. i might start sleeping in a larger closet here soon. but we will see. that is my living situation at the moment. i haven't found any great opportunities for housing opportunities yet, but i was really hoping to find some kind of job before then so i could get a better idea of where i should be living (since i want to bike and bus and not have a car). but i am changing this theory a bit and i have no priority on the other, i was thinking about loving my neighbors the other day and realized it would just be cool to have actual neighbors to love and a place to rest my head on a more permament basis and that it might be more important to find a community to live in first.*

in regards to the job front...i have been poking around, but haven't found anything that i am really excited about yet. i have found some things to which i have responded, oh, that could work. but nothing that i have felt really fit just what i am looking for. the problem may be that i dont really know exactly what i am looking for, but maybe not. i am going to catch up with some people this week that will give me some more insight in to this and i am starting to realize how valuable it is to just know people who know people. the internet is great for job listings and all, but nothing is as good as a personal recommendation/reference. something i have always known, but not something i have really had to utilize, thus i have not fully appreciated it. so jobs...are coming along. ideally, it would be great to be working in a position where i could gain insight into community/public health. i am really considering this as an area of future work (possibly more internationally, but also in urban areas as well). so that would be great, by my standards. but i am still just praying that i may follow the lord's leading.*

*but here is the asterick to all this. i am really considering moving out to new hampshire for a month or so to live with ricky, hang with ricky, surf with ricky, see the east coast, and study for the gre. i really want to see everyone in seattle that i haven't seen for the last year and try and set some stuff up for now, or for when i return to new hampshire. we will see. i'll keep you all posted on that. but that's whats happening. just a lot of thinking and doing surrounding those few things.

Back home. Home, home that is.

So I'm back in the US of A. The midwest-Michigan specifically. I spent this weekend with my entire immediate family and most of the extended family. It's been great to see them all again and I am just trying to rest, relax, and hopefully chug through some processing as well. Its a little chilly today, but I think I am gonna head out on my uncles jet skis in a minute here. But I'm glad to be home.

In Lauf

All year I have been reading about Lauf, Germany, the home of my good friend Drew, via Drew's blog. I have read about its little nooks, crannies, and intricacies. I have read about adventures that have been had and apartments that have been rented. Well, today I am in Lauf, in that apartment, and gearing up for some adventures-and exploration of a nook or cranny. Life is good. Great places and amazing people. More on this later, but just to let you know all is well.

Standard bush league.

So Randi and I got to Chongqing. And of course, no train tickets to Chengdu for five hours, so we opt for the bus. Or, rather, to try and find a bus. On the way to the long distance bus station (that had no buses to Chengdu) we pass a lady with a sign that says Chengdu in Chinese characters. I say "we want to go there" in Chinese. She lists a price, I double check at the bus station to make sure we can't get there a more legitimate way and then we are off. Following two Chinese ladies (who were practically running) who throw us in a taxi, take us to the side of the highway, and sit us down. We managed to escape for a bathroom break, but we werent lucky enough to get breakfast/lunch. Then, a bus pulls up, we hand a guy some money and they throw us on...except when we get on there aren't enough seats and the guy I gave my money to...gone. The two ladies...walking away, trying not to look at me as I am waving them over. No worries, a guy gets up, Randi steals his seat, I slide in next to her, we are good to go-it's good being a foreigner. The other people find another bus or something and then we are off to Chengdu. Sketch...yes, but it worked. Lots more adventures, hopefully I can post them soon. Gotta jet though.

and we're off...and we're stuck...and we're off again

Randi and I have left Guiyang. It was a great last few days there, I left in a fury with some help from my friends to clean up a little mess I left behind (thanks again). From Guiyang we went up to Zhangjiajie, or Wuling Yuan. A beautiful national park with sandstone pillars and some other crazy geological stuff. They supposedly have clouded leopards and giant salamanders there too-we didn't see them, but we did possibly see some leopard scat-the jury is still out, but I am a believer. From there we went to the ancient-style river town of Fenghuang for a night, it was bustling with Chinese Tourists and had some nice sites, but it wasn't worth more time than the 24 hours we gave it. A nice stop over none the less. And now, we are in Huaihua, trying to get to Chengdu, only they don't have any tickets for Chengdu. So...we are going to Chongqing. Which is on the way...and then when we get there, we will try and figure it out, so hopefully...it works. Not quite sure though, we'll see. Hopefully it won't be too painful. Either way, we are having a good time. We have been very fortunate thus far and things are going well. My Chinese skills are getting a workout. I am amazed at how well I have been able to understand and communicate. We are truly being provided for. Well, I am off to find some food and start the next mysterious leg of this trip! Blessings!

did you just say crack?

today i went from "english teacher in china" to "world wanderer." that's right. i am no longer teaching english. i taught my last class today. actually, to be more accurate, i gave my last set of exams. for the past two weeks i have been doing interviews with my students-my 500+ students. i spent a lot, a lot, a lot of time hearing about chinese new year (which is most often referred to as spring festival here) and birthday celebrations. it was...well, it was what it was-twenty hours of listening to chinglish on a limited number of topics-no one's idea of fun. but i would like to share one quote that kind of made it all (ok, not all, but at least that day) worth it. in reference to how chinese people celebrate spring festival- "...families have a large meal and then the parents will give the children money to buy crack." he pauses after i give him my 'slightly confused look.' i have given this look frequently in the last two weeks. he goes on to explain himself, "you know the sssss...boom!" me, "oh, oh. yeah. FIREcrackERs." him, "yeah, yeah, yeah. firecrackers." so rest assured. china's opium struggles continue to be a thing of the distant pass. but i made it through and my teaching responsibilities are done. don't get me wrong, my to do list is still a mile long, but i have officially shifted my life status to "world wanderer, searcher of the next step, one who is seeing the journey as the destination." so that's the big news. i will be in my city just about one more week and then randi and i are off for new places and experiences.

on a separate note. cockroach season is in full swing. two nights ago, as i went into the kitchen late one night i was greeted by a big fella who quickly scurried away out of sight, out of reach. last night, as i went to enter the kitchen again, i was actually expecting to see him again. he didn't disappoint. there he was, middle of the kitchen floor. i still had the slippers from the night before by the door so i went for the "throw one ball high to distract them and hit them with the second ball" trick. only i did it with the slippers and it worked masterfully. i was actually trying to pin him down with the one and gone in for the kill with the other but i missed, he got disoriented, i closed and took care of business. now you may be saying to yourself, jake, really? have you lost it? cockroach killing techniques? but i say to you, have you ever tried to kill these things before? they are fast AND agile. and you need a direct blow here. glances to to exoskeleton won't hack it. but this roach, he was a big one. maybe a PR for my apartment. and so i thought i was safe. but as i was typing an email a few minutes ago i saw one scurry by my feet and under my desk from the corner of my eye. looks like the hunter has another challenge before him.

Graduation: Broken Bottles and Rented Gowns

this week the graduating seniors are leaving (read-getting kicked off) campus. typically they are allowed to leave until the end of the year, but since the school has an upcoming evaluation from the education embassy (or something like that) they are leaving early so they don't create distractions. and to be honest, this is a good idea. since it is their last week things have been a little different around here. most notably at night. i right next door to the female student dormitories. typically, this isn't all that bad and my biggest complaint is that some girls get locked out at night (they lock the dormitory about 11:30 and instead of realizing they are "SOL" they bang and bang on the door yelling for the woman in charge of the dormitory to come and unlock the door. its pretty ridiculous and makes me wish there was a clear path of trajectory from my complex to the door, although this would also need to be accompanied by a store which sells water balloons. but the last few nights, the noise for the dormitories has taken on a whole new...realm of obnoxiousness. the seniors in an act of defiance?/celebration?/utter euphoria(?) throw glass bottles and other items that will make a loud crash out their windows and then scream. yeah...totally ridiculous and definitely wouldn't fly as a tradition thing in the states, but as well all know, this is not the states. so yeah. well into the night my sleep has been accompanied by breaking bottles, screams, and a higher number of slightly inebriated graduating students who were celebrating too much and TOO late.

an a faster note. the second, more amusing, sight this week has been that of seniors taking pictures all around campus in graduation gowns. the "official" ceremony thing doesn't really happen here like it does in the states, but some groups of students get together, rent gowns, and take pictures for an afternoon and the most random places on campuses (next to trees, the track, the main gate, the cafeteria, anywhere). this would be pure misery for me. i am glad i don't teach seniors. chinese students are absolutely obsessed with taking pictures, its ridiculous. i am glad i don't have to reach to point of exhaustion just from smiling too much.

duibuqi, mei you daizi

not sure if you will find this as fascinating as i do. but on june 1st china, and i mean all of china, began charging for plastic bags (as well as outlawing the use of thin plastic bags). that's not really the fascinating part. the fascinating part is that China was using 3 billion plastic bags a day. yeah. 3 billion. they were using more in one month than the U.S. was using in a year, and we all know how much the U.S. likes to waste, i mean use, stuff. so it has been entertaining to see people walking around with groceries in hand and denying plastic bags left and right. it's still taking a little while to catch on in the streets, but you can definitely tell there is a difference. actually, i think it's amazing. and that more cities/nations should consider it. i mean if you really think about it, we waste so many plastic bags. and its not too difficult to get paper or just carry the one thing you bought at the store. either way, its been amusing and i was quick to learn the word for bag so i wouldn't have to pay any thing extra. but shops aren't really even carrying bags anymore, which isn't really a problem anyway (duibuqi, mei you daizi=sorry, we don't have any bags-or its something like that). so i am not sure what bag consumption is down to now, but i know the world is a little less littered with plastic bags.

http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/01/china_plastic_bag_ban.php

Shout out to baby sister

This post is dedicated to my baby younger sister, Abby. She left for Zambia on June 1st (and has arrived safely). She, along with a few other teammates, will be living there for the next seven weeks doing an assortment of stuff, like working in orphanages and child development centers, doing AIDS education, visiting terminal patients in hospitals, working with youth groups, and whatever else comes up. She has long had a passion for Africa and it's great to see her stepping out to make this trip happen and see first hand the things she has been learning about for a long time. I still remember choosing to do a big research paper on water and food shortages in Africa when she was in high school. I must say, I am very proud of her and I am excited, not only for the ways she will serve there, but also for how she will be grown and stretched. So if you want to keep her in your Thoughts too, that would be great.

what!?!? june?

and its june. how did that even happen? no way i have been in china nine and a half months already. i guess the date doesn't lie.

and...i'm back...blogging that is

hello faithful readers (mom and friends with google reader, which i highly recommend for everyone). i am back. my internet decided to stop working for 5 weeks. thanks to my incessant complaining, it is back. ridiculous. i suppose i could have attempted to blog from elsewhere, but when time elsewhere is limited, it is usually spent trying to email people back so they don't view me as a major bum. so i think i am going to go to bullet points to capture the last six weeks. in no particular order...

-there was a massive earthquake 350 miles north of my city. it has affected all of china one way or another. as for me personally, i didn't even really feel it, i was teaching on the second floor. but i guess my building swayed a bit and i ended up not having all my classes canceled for the day. my province is ok. the victims are well cared for. contacts of my fellowship here are working hard around the fringes to makes sure no one is falling through the cracks as far as aid goes. its been good to help out in that way even though it feels so minor. but please continue to be Thinking of the people there and Hoping for softened hearts and listening ears about a Love that conquers death and despair.

-my school is having an evaluation/inspection/accreditation in three weeks. this has meant massive amounts of construction and other superficial presentation type things. they had a type of practice inspection (i think they paid some kind of consultants to come in and tell them what they were doing wrong) a few weeks ago and it was crazy. there were no longer cars in the street, the buildings were squeaky clean, all of the students were in class, all of the students were wearing these little pins and such. the bathrooms didn't smell. it was crazy. and that was just practice. there were students at various posts around campus and there sole job was to...pick up cigarette butts, i know, exciting. but it was ridiculous. it was such a facade. it wasn't an accurate assessment of our campus at all. its not like our campus is in awful shape, but the show that was put on was sickening. its kind of like they just clean and fix everything on the surface so it looks good for a few weeks and then it all goes back to normal again. like now, you can't really tell that we had the practice round, but when the real inspection happens in three weeks, i can't imagine what campus will be like. i will report back about this-just funny highlights.

-oh, but because of the inspection. i am finished teaching on june 20th. my supervising professor didn't want me to have to worry about the pressure of being evaluated so she told me just to finish early. this is probably more for their benefit than mine, but i am definitely not complaining. you see, my classes aren't your typical chinese english classes. i dont think the whole having people moving all around the class talking about whatever comes to my mind really qualifies as the "task oriented" teaching they want to present at inspection time. but like i said, no complaints. and because there is a holiday next week my schedule is a little different and i had to move some speaking exams forward a week. my supervising professor decided she didn't want me to have to juggle exams and classes and all that so she decided to just make it so i only give exams in june. so the whole month of june, i work a total of 20 hours. but it does include me having conversations with 500 students, giving them an arbitrary speaking grade. oh, and after my supervising teacher cleared out my schedule she handed me 36 pages of a book she translated from chinese to english. i am going to look over it to make sure it's correct. this is very common in china. a you scratch my back, i scratch yours mentality. it even has its own special name-guanxi. its like networking and small favors on steroids. but i am happy to do it. after all, this is also the teacher that covers for me when i go on vacation.

-my good friend randi, aka doc, is coming visit me! she arrives june 25th. we are going to hang out in my city for a few days and then we are off to tour china. i am very very excited. it will be so nice to have a friend from home have a small glance at my experience here. i haven't quite worked out our travel itinerary yet because the earthquake kind of threw a wrench in my route. no worries though. it'll be sweet. but we will travel up to beijing together. she leaves the 17th of july for seattle. i leave the 18th for switzerland.

-yes, switzerland is working out. looks like i will be meeting 7(+?) amazing friends in rupperswil, switzerland in the end of july. i can't really express how amazing it will be. yeah. epic. and after a week in switzerland. and after switzerland it's off to germany with one of my best friends to see his birthplace among other things. and then a two day jaunt in dublin and back in good old michigan on august 2nd.

-i still have no idea where i will be heading after spending time at home in michigan. it looked like i might have a job opportunity in seattle, but it fell through, so i am back sitting in the dark just waiting for some guidance. i am just working on trusting and i know He is faithful, so no worries, but i am quite curious as to where i am going to be led. your Thoughts on this are beyond appreciated.

well, if you made it this far, i am very impressed. i think that is all i will focus on now. hopefully more consistent posts (hopefully with a little more flare and excitement) are in store for the days ahead. thanks for checking in.

5 years ago...

So five years ago this weekend I made my first trip to Seattle. Little did I know what an impact the city of Seattle and Seattle Pacific University would have on me. People always say college is the greatest time or your life and a great opportunity for independence and all that jazz, but I could have never imagined how much I would grow and the things I would learn, and the relationships I would build. It's just crazy to think about.

I was encouraged not too long ago to think about life five years from now. So often people make short term, year goals, and work to accomplish them, but what about five years. So much has happened in my life in five years, but in a way, when you look at it, it doesn't seem all that intimidating. I mean, I have no idea what the next five years will look like for me, I mean, absolutely no idea. I just found out this week that I didn't get a job I was applying for in Seattle, so really there is nothing in front of me directing me. Just me looking upward for guidance. It's exciting really. But I am not sure, really the only thing I can hope for in the next five years is that I continue to look upward for guidance and find myself at peace in doing that. That would be my goal. Maybe the rest will take care of itself?

I do hope to return to Seattle though (not sure if it will be this year or when). I still remember being in awe of five years ago when I visited. And to think I really didn't even understand the city, or the NW, then and definitely didn't see my becoming as infatuated with it as I am now. Wow. Five years.

new coffee with flaming toast

i ran out of coffee yesterday and thus switched to a new blend. it's not bad, but i guess i was pretty much obsessed with my old one (some seattle's best that my mom sent me). now i am drinking some tanzania blend from a american owned coffee place in town. why am i sharing this? i am not sure exactly. but i have been drinking coffee pretty consistently since a few months into living in china. not only does it taste dang good (something that i thought i never would have said, even 3 years ago), but i think its just "a little slice of home that warms the soul." (put in quotations because such a ridiculous amount of fuzzy feelings that exudes from that comment that i really hope someone else said it first). going to an ancient city today. should be good, but i need to scrounge up some breakfast first, i just let my toast catch on fire in the oven. thats my third uncharacteristic blunder in three days. is my head just too high in the clouds?

also in need of grace...

my english skills. i mean, i purposely don't bother with capitalization. but what respectable english teacher spells the word hear, h-e-r-e. and i am sure there are more mistakes, i just didn't want to read even farther (or is it further) through my post to remind me how much i am corrupting my students already lacking english. i suppose they should just be thankful i teach oral english and often the worst i can do is expose them to a little michigan accent action. i am just glad i have a job.

blundered

another work week is over. i don't understand this. how can it go so fast? what did i do the last five days. i mean i worked, but what else? did i really fit five days of activities in? looking back, i guess i did, but it just seems a little crazy in a way. i took part in my other extracurricular activities (interesting how that term still applies even as i have stopped being a student) and they were quality as always. especially some time spent with the guys today. two random, more humbling things that happened this week...i had told some friends here that i would come and teach a science lesson to their sons (ages 13,10,8?) this thursday. i had done this once already last term and was looking forward to doing it again. but obviously, not looking forward enough as i completely forgot to plan wednesday night and didn't even here my phone ring on six separate occasions thursday morning to remind me that i forgot. i felt so bad. they forgave me (well i am sure facing the boys on sunday will bring some well deserved blows), but still, for someone who focuses so much on responsibility, it was rather humbling and it really effected the rest of the day. the second humbling experience happened today. i got completely and utterly lost in my city. my city is not a big city. but i managed to somehow get just under a kilometer of course before i realized i wasn't even close to where i thought i was. i knew i didn't know where i was going, but i figured i was going in the right direction and i would come out somewhere obvious. no, not the case at all. i somehow managed to misdirect myself 90 degrees while going under a road (a common mistake by some, but something i typically pride myself in not succumbing to), cross under the biggest street in town without realizing i was going under it which would have led to my awareness of the previous turn, convince myself i was heading in the right direction and continue to proceed of track all the while thinking that the map just wasn't specific enough. wow. i really need to get over myself. when i first had a general idea of where i was i said to myself, no it can't be, i must be misreading the chinese. then sure enough another 200 meters later when i finally pinpointed my location i said, wow. what just happened? and had to take the next 5 minutes convincing myself that i could have made such a blunder, and even then i just wanted to blame it one me just enjoying the beats flowing from my iPod. most times i appreciate my sense of self confidence because it helps me out and typically things end up well. today, it screwed me over. at least i had my music to listen to while wandered.

not needless to say, i am humbled and thankful for grace which is abundantly bestowed upon me.

a call to blog

so i am back. back from tiger leaping gorge to be specific. it was...epic. there aren't really words to articulate the experience. that being the case, i'll mastercard the experience...

-Trip duration: 110 hours
-Total travel time (in trains, buses, and vans): 48 hours
-Total time hiking through TLG: 9 hours
-Total time spent in gorge: 23 hours
-Pictures taken in Gorge: 185
-Average time elapsed between pictures: ~3 minutes (540 minutes/185)
-Elevation reached: 2670 m
-Elevation of surrounding mountains: 5396 m +
-Girls met that looked and acted exactly like my sister Betsy: 1
-Hours spent on a sleeper bus practically spooning (I don't fit laying straight) with some random Chinese man and a Welsh guy I had just met: 10
-Kisses on the cheek from Mama Naxi (the hyperactive Naxi minority woman that ran the hostel in Lijiang): 2
-Crappy Kung Fu movies forced to watch while in transit: at least 5
-Birthday messages received (it overlapped with the trip): ~35 (thank you friends)
-Times almost slipping and falling off the path into oblivion: 1 (the second slip would have just been a long rolling fiasco)
-Soles of shoe demolished: 1
-Villages trekked through on high trail: 3
-Sunrises witnessed over the previously mentioned mountains: 1
-Beautiful sunsets: 2
-Close calls in missing transit links: 0 (PTL)
-Hours spent contemplating life: lots
-Hours spent with friends in Kunming: 6.5
-Length of time playing Settlers of Catan b4 I was a huge fan: 30 minutes
-Blisters on feet: 4
-Cuts on hand: just 3
-Bends in the 900 m ascent to the high trail summit: 28, maybe 30
-Other hikers seen on the trail on day one: 1
-Analogies crafted on how my hiking in amazing places fits my spiritual life: 1 composed of about 10 supporting points.
-Overall experience: Priceless

Yeah. That's my trip. It was nice. I am hoping to squeeze in some more traveling at the beginning of May too. I really did enjoy going by myself. You meet so many interesting people, have great conversations, and you have a lot of time to work on moving towards solitude anchored in the Father's love. Maybe I will loosely share my analogy soon.

Cheers.

mom, look! i did it!

i did it! i put it to the test. you see for my last six months in china (minus my extended vacation time) i have had chinese tutoring once a week. the experience has been one of quite mixed feelings. i will share a few...i think our (i have lessons with a friend that works with the same company) tutor is incredibly awkward at times-in a not all that warm, encouraging, socially aware, etc kind of way. she isn't what i would say is the ideal person to practice a freshly learned language with. but in the end, not a big deal, i get over it. but there's another thing. i don't really study. i usually just cram right before the lesson. and one last block worth noting. often, when i do attempt to use my newly acquired language skills i am either a.) corrected by my student who has encouraged me to speak a little bit or b.) spoken back to in the local dialect. when you have a hard time listening to the real deal, the local dialect doesn't even approach the radar screen. but this all brings us to today. having recently cleared my schedule to go on a trip to Tiger Leaping Gorge i was in need of a train ticket to Kunming. knowing i would be traveling by myself during the trip i realized i would need to be able to book my own transportation and i figured if i can't do it in my own city, than i might as well not go because i surely won't make it. so i studied my words and said to myself, i just have to control the situation (really my listening is that awful). so i went to get the ticket, waited in line, then started having doubts, saying to myself, "wait, the last time i bought a ticket (was with my chinese friend who bought my ticket), i went to other window. am i in the right line? can i buy a ticket at this window? how do i ask if this window sells train tickets? maybe this isn't such a great idea" and i left the line. i had lost the battle. i looked at what time the window closed and went on my way to walmart. it was a nice day so i walked the mile to walmart (i figured i better start preparing for this hike one way or another) and on my trip convinced myself again, that it was completely necessary to buy the ticket myself. so i rushed through my shopping, walked the mile back to get the ticket. this time, there was a line for the correct window. i waited, i approached the window, i said, "wo yao qu kunming" (i want to go to kunming) answered his questions and only had to do my 'speak jibberish and hope they just take care of whatever questions they are asking you themselves' routine once. i did it. i successfully bought the ticket. after i inspected to make sure it really was the ticket i wanted, i was beaming like a small child, as if saying, "mom, look! i did it! i spoke four sentences and nodded my head, all by myself!" haha, wow. i suppose it is the simple things sometimes that amuse us. hopefully i will be able to get the other 4 tickets i need now to get back home (don't worry mom, i am sure i can, and if not i can always just call a friend, ptl for technology). so yeah. that's my language learning process for ya. i am definitely not quiting my day job.

so what's new?

"What I am I up to?" You ask. Well. Big news of late is...I bought a plane ticket home-via Europe. Actually, going to Europe was originally purely recreational, but with what it costs to fly out of China to the states this summer it has also become a semi-economical decision also. My airfare is much cheaper even with a stop in Europe (into Switzerland to see my amazing friends and then flying out of Dublin because it was ridiculously cheap and I am currently overly intrigued with Ireland/have always been/will continue to be). So I am pretty excited about those travel plans. Although, it will be another four months until I am actually home and three months before I leave to travel through China and Europe, but I know that will be here all too soon. Which is really weird to think about, but I am reflecting on it for the sole purpose of making sure I am ready/I have done all I desire to before it arrives. But I am being careful not to focus on it too much and lose track of what I am doing here. Back to the traveling though. We have next Friday off so I might try and swing an extended weekend. I am thinking about trying to rearrange my Wednesday class and taking off on Tuesday for Tiger Leaping Gorge in Yunnan Province. It's arguably one of China's greatest natural attractions after the "rooftop of the world." Which I have axed travel plans for, much to my dismay, but not nearly as dismaying as the situation itself, keep it in your thoughts. Tiger Leaping Gorge would be a Tuesday-Sunday trip. So five days. It should be a week, so I would be pushing it. The way it shakes down though I can't really pass up this opportunity. So I think I am going to do it. It will be a nice birthday present to myself, ha. I will keep you updated on that though (not sure who exactly "you" is, but anyway...). Besides traveling, been teaming up good conversations with good meals lately so that's been great. Love how food opens doors-amazing. In other news-still waiting to hear back about the next stage of job interviewing (it will be a process-Spring Break and busyness is at hand for the interviewers), currently battling mold in the apartment, trying to pick up a little guitar, leading my online bracket pool even though I haven't watched one game this year(go MSU!-yes I did pick them for my final four. I figure I look dang good if it happens and only like someone who is a little too invested in the Big Ten if it doesn't, seeing as how I also through Wisconsin in there too. It feels like '05 though), and I might go to an azalea festival this weekend. So yup, that's the shakedown. Sorry about the lack of paragraphs, the excess of run-ons, and the numerous parenthetical wanderings.

bringing down the thunder

i've seen a new side to guiyang this week. spring thunderstorms. it's been amazing. i love thunderstorms. it's something i miss greatly when i am living in the NW. tonight we've had a great one. kind of almost like two separate ones. i realize in some people's eyes this may not seem worthy of a blog post and i may have well been in that boat until just a few minutes ago i was brushing my teeth and there was such a strong blast of thunder that a car alarm was set off. i said to myself, this storm just hit blog status. the pounding rain, soaked jeans, and saturated shoes wasn't enough. i needed something like the car alarm and it happened and thus, you have now read about it.

oh...ummm...hello

i walked into what i thought was going to be my first class with a group of adult students only to discover that i was wrong. it was my second class with the same group of adults i had met just a couple of days before. i was not informed that i would have them twice a week and i had made the assumption that i would have two different first year adult classes (a healthy assumption because i have not met one person who sees the same class twice in one week). so i guess i am the first. but it was ok. we were kicked out of the classroom because the department double booked it and thus wandered for about five minutes. this gave me time to make up a lesson plan out of thin air for a class of 20 very limited english speakers. luckily i had three students from my second year class who wanted to also come to this class so i decided i would split the class into groups and have my second year students help lead the groups. this would have worked out splendidly, but they aren't my strongest students. so instead i am running around helping them discuss topics WAY over their level. no worries, new plan of attack. just talk and write down whatever comes out of my mouth and then define it. this worked for a little while, but got old quick. another plan-go to break and dig through your notebook to find something you did last semester that would work. perfect! found some pronunciation activities which, after i defined pronunciation, worked splendidly.

it was good though, you see, the chinese are all about face. about not losing face to be more specific. so for example they would have acted like nothing was wrong when they saw it was the same class and they didn't have a lesson plan and they would have had them bust out their books and read from them (i suppose they don't need lesson plans because they do that anyway. hmmm). but me, nope, not concerned about that at all. i taught the class a new word-surprise! i explained the situation to them-i am pretty sure they didn't comprehend. but it made me feel better about stammering and stalling my way through the entire class because i am too stubborn to have them mindlessly read through their books and put forth no effort whatsoever. the makeshift lesson plan went alright. it wasn't too painful at all. and i think they enjoyed it even. but the problem now is that my lesson planning time for this class just doubled. thats alright, i think they will be a lot of fun. its nice to have them early in their learning, now they can pick up michigan accents and learn to laugh at my jokes. anyway, just another random story about the beauty of cultural differences in communication and just going with it. gotta watch out for those assumptions.

so that's what's new. other than the fact that the march madness bracket just came out and MSU is a 5 seed in a pretty easy regional and have a great chance of coming out of it if they can play like they are capable of (a huge if, BUT they have done it in the past-2004 (?) when they got to the final four and of course in the late 90's through 01 when they hung out in the final four quite often. so i'm hopeful, just as i am every march. let's just hope they don't lose in the first round). so keep your eyes on the tourney. i haven't seen a single game this season and i actually didn't follow most of the season because i was traveling, but i think i am picking ucla. collison is just really good and love is a monster inside. and they play defense. but they are a 1 seed. i hate going chalk. i just feel like it means i wasted any time that i did put into watching/following the season. but then again, that's been very few hours this year like i said, so i suppose i am justified. well that's enough rambling about all of that.

oh and happy st. patrick's day.

mmeaaa...

i interviewed today for a job. i don't know if you have ever been so lucky as to phone interview from overseas, but well, let's just say, it's an experience. i had a plan. wake up an hour before interview time (6:00 am). get some coffee and breakfast in me. shower. put the tie on. yeah, that's right. had to get in game mode so i wore the tie for the phone interview. i am still debating if i should have changed out of my puppy slippers though to really complete it though. anyway. i was feeling good about the plan and all and i had been prepping for a week with answers and my thoughts about the job. but the interview began and i felt little prepared to be in the situation i found myself in. i toughed it out and wrestled through and wouldn't call it a bad experience, it just felt as though i couldn't articulate my thoughts and the passion that brought me to the job (no doubt a very frustrating experience). all is well though. i know that me being placed in this job is bigger than an initial interview. if i have learned anything here it is that the Father takes care of us and guides our paths and we just need to pursue Him.

beyond that...it was a good week. i got bumped up to teaching sixteen hours. which is ok. that's the credit max, but my classes are pretty laid back and my lesson planning and grading is minimal. it was good to see my adult students for the first time in over two months and i enjoyed a good lunch with some of my new music students today so that was great as well. i have two classes of brand new adult students and their english is lacking to say the least. this is ok. i had imagined i would find myself in this position for the majority of my classes, but all of my other classes have had decent enough comprehension that there hasn't been a problem. but these are new classes, so i am excited for the challenge and call for creativity. i just feel bad for the students, i think they are a little overwhelmed right now. at least by judging by there reactions today, especially the despaired reaction of one girl after i told her i didn't speak any chinese (after i was asked the question in chinese). so not entirely true, and i have been intending to increase my studying and commitment to language acquisition, but i hold a strict no chinese policy in my classes.

anyway. that's me. good week this week. minus a slight run in with the meat cleaver, but i am typing again with my index finger now so that's a good sign. bought episodes 7-11 of planet earth today (i already own 1-6). amazing. watching a wolverine eat a caribou right now-just a little disturbing. trying to put up travel pictures on my facebook right now. two albums down, one, maybe two to go. if you want me to send you the link let me know (you don't need facebook). alright, bed time. mei you xiuxi jin tian. wo lei le. (i had no nap today. i am tired.)

a broken heart and runny noses

My heart was broken this week-27 times. You see, I go to the orphanage every Wednesday. We go during the day and visit with the children. The thing is the quote-unquote normal children are at school. So I play with the disabled children. There are younger children as well, but there are plenty of people lining up to hold babies in the baby room. I make a beeline for the ruckus raisers. Lately there has been just two of us, for the 27 kids in the room-the number fluctuates. It really does break my heart going to the orphanage. I can't really articulate it. I can't really make it real for you. There is just such a need for love. I know I wrote back in October or so, but it continues to be a huge part of my experience here. A huge part and its just 2 hours a week. I Think about these kids all throughout the week, hoping that they know they are loved even though they get little attention, little interaction. I hadn't been for a while because I was out of town. When I got back there a handful of new kids. A autistic boy, a downes boy, and a few others. They are so much fun, they desire to be picked up and twirled around. To take a ride around the room on your back like they are actually flying in the air. To be shown attention, affection, and care. It can be challenging. Just an example...A kid wrapped his arms around my neck to be picked up this week and as I hoisted him up into my arms I could just smell his drooled on coat. Drool that's been accumulating on a coat for who knows how long is no gentle smell. I would go as far to say its abrasive, thus the tears that came to my eyes. But it doesn't matter, because whay can he do about it? All he knows is that now that he's in my arms, he in for something EPIC, even if it is just a trip that winds through beds and around tables and chairs.

There is this little girl there. Maybe four, probably five though (they look so much younger than they are). She can't talk. I really have no idea why. But if you hold her and sing to her she will kind of hum with you. And when you hold her she just rests so peacefully in your arms, resting her head on your shoulder, as if she is saying, everything is ok. But it's only for a moment-I doubt she gets picked up again until we come again. My heart was broken as I held her this week and looked around the room at all of the children. There was no way I could show them they are loved. I try, we try. We bounce from one to the other to the other, trying to give them all attention, to hold them, to help them color, to lift them to up so they can touch the ceiling and for a moment forget that they even though they are ten years old can't even stand straight enough or high enough to open the door. They are all loved. And I try and show them that, but it seems impossible. Even as orphans I Hope they know they have a Father who loves them.

Close...but not quite

I buy this "wheat" bread from the bakery on campus. it looks like wheat bread (most times-sometimes there are bits of white, which adds weight to the upcoming theory), but it doesn't really taste like wheat bread. I am thinking they just put some coloring or something in it and call it "wheat" bread. You might find yourself saying, really? But yes, really. It is totally something that would happen in China-specifically in my city. See something "Western" and cut corners to imitate it. Use wheat flour? Heck no. Just put some of that brown coloring stuff in the white flour and call it good. I'm not complaining, I am just sharing. Most times its just more amusing than frustrating. I bet I could even have a blog committed only to poor western food imitations found here, yeah, just food. At least the PB & J on the bread is solid. I did have some legit bread the other day though. It was a fatty unsliced loaf from Walmart (did you know we have two Walmarts?), I made some clutch French toast with it. It's tough to get back to Walmart though, so I suppose the "wheat" bread will have to do for now, along with the not quite right chocolate milk.

On a random note. I replaced the light in my kitchen today. It had been out almost four months. If I ever needed to work in my kitchen after dark I just slipped my head lamp on. I think this might help you understand how much time I spend in my kitchen. Why cook when you can eat every meal for cheaper if you out AND no dishes. I mean come on, that's win-win.

job app

I am working on a job application right now. So basically you could categorize this blog post as 100 percent complete procrastination. I am stuck on an question of my spiritual journey. I find it hard to get that kind of stuff down on paper. I could ramble on and on about it, but if you ask me to write about it I end up with a page full of one or two sentence sections that have a thousand thoughts after each of them and nothing of any real...flow or worth to the readers of the application. I think I will finish most of the app tonight though. I know this because a) I have to get it done as soon as possible and b) because I have procrastinated in every possible single way and its just 6:15 pm, 5 hours before I am going to go to bed. That's a lot of time to do nothing of significance. So I suppose I might as well work on it with complete focus. The thing is, I really want to the job and I think that's the reason behind the procrastination. I want my passion, vision, and desire to shine through on the application, thus I have to chose my words carefully and well. I am not a writer, I'm more of a talker. Or at least I have convinced myself of such. But that's enough about this job application. On to something else like what I am doing right now in life, anyway? Well. I am back teaching again. I will have a full week this week. Which I am not sure if that is 14 or 16 hours of class. I have attempted to get my complete schedule, but have been unsuccessful, so I am still unsure. Either way, that's ok. I know I have class tomorrow morning...at least I think I do. Maybe I should make some phone calls here. But I am back at it. I taught last week and it went well. The students were excited to see me and it was good to see them as well. I was just writing an email to a friend and remarked on how much time I have left in China and it really isn't much. I have 17 weeks of teaching left and then probably 3 weeks of traveling. 17 may seem like a lot to some people, but the first week went SO fast that I am pretty sure the next 17 will be a whirlwind as well. I am pretty excited though. This semester will be a busy one, at least I desire it to be so-in a healthy kind of way, and I am looking forward to continuing to teach my students the best I can and to get to know them better and spend more time with them. It should be good. Well, I need to do some damage on this app, so I best be done for now.

really back in china

I've left Hong Kong and headed back into the real deal China. It's been weird coming back. Natural in a way, like I truly have made a home here. I have even started teaching classes already. I extended my stay as long as possible in Hong Kong in order to hang out with my friend Patrick from Seattle. And speaking of feelings of home. Kicking with Patrick was just quality. It was nice to have hang out with someone who knows more of your story, who knows more of your background and history. Plus it doesn't get much better than traveling around one of the worlds greatest cities with a good friend-watching English Premier League in a Pub and chilling just watching LOST. Speaking of LOST-I'm eight episodes into Season 3.

Anyway...I am back teaching. I had been gone 50 days and it doesn't really feel like it was that long. Been a lot a places, seen a lot of things (isn't that in the song). And now that I am back it's weird to think about. Traveling was a great blessing, I don't think I will ever truly figure out how many or in how many different ways, but I think the big thing is not forgetting the experiences. And those are my summarized sentiments. And...yeah...just not feeling the blogging much more than that right now, so until later.

back to china...kind of

Today is the first time I have really seen my blog since I left the states. China blocks blogger so I have to send my posts to my wonderful sister and she puts them up for me. But right now I am in Hong Kong and I can get on. Which brings me to thoughts about HK and China and how the two are "one country, two systems." I won't say much on the subject, but I have been in HK less than 6 hours now and it just feels so backwards, or rather right. It is just really different from mainland, so you could say it was backwards, but in actually its mainland thats backwards and HK does things well. It's weird and amazing. It's a beautiful city though and I am excited to explore it some more, as well as spend time at a conference with my teaching organization, AND chill with my friend Patrick, who lives here, but is in Spain or something right now and won't be back until next week. But yeah...I can get on my blog and I realize 1.) it really needs a face lift and 2.) I haven't posted in a while. So...

Like I said, I am in Hong Kong. This means that since I last posted I have finished touring the temples of Angkor (just epic) and spent 8 days on beaches in Thailand (just a whole different experience from anything else). I will try and post pictures of the temples when I get back to my apartment so you can see those. They were just really cool. I wish I had some skill in poetry or language to express it. The detail of work combined with the massiveness combined with age and preservation (specifically of Angkor Wat) make you just stop and wish your camera could really capture it so you could stare at the pictures in awe like you currently are. Only when you looked at the pictures you wouldn't be drenched in sweat from the noonday sun and overwhelmed by Japanese tourist groups. Sidenote-I saw the most amazing hat at the temples. Invision the Top Gun logo, but instead of the star there are head phones and instead of top gun it says "hip hop." sounds like a pretty cool hat right? no imagine it on a 70 year old japanese guy in a tour group roaming around Angkor Thom and it is thrust into one of the coolest experiences of my trip. So that's a little about Cambodia (pictures in the future-which will be easier because rumor has it that my friend just found an add on so we can access blogspot).

But I've been in Thailand recently too. Actually this morning I was in Thailand. Woke up at three, got on a four o'clock minibus to the airport, a seven o'clock flight to macau, a twelve o'clock bus to the ferry, a one o'clock ferry to HK, the metro into downtown to get Jen and Chinese visa, then a metro back to the piers, a 5 o'clock ferry to an outlying island, and now I'm here. At a rest and relaxation place for workers in China. Pretty nice. Long day. A little tired I suppose. But Thailand was great. We didnt have much time and we had intended to spend it up north in National Parks and the like, but on a whim decided to go to an island off the east coast first. And rather than traveling all the way up north with the limited time we had we just decided to stick around the coast and go to another island. I'm not a huge beach fan, but these beaches, waters, and islands were fantastic and the thing is, they don't hold a candle to the ones down South. So, pretty much I am going back to Thailand sometime soon. But some highlights/lowlights from the Thailand portion of the trip: Pad Thai, Curry, 7-11 and chocolate milk (I hadn't had good milk in 6 months, it was pretty exciting), more Pad Thai, my sandles getting stolen from the deck of our bungalow resort, the deck of our bungalow resort, the bungalows on the water at the bungalow resort, cruising around Koh Chang (Koh-island Chang-elephant) on a scooter, better yet trekking on elephants around Koh Chang, swimming at sunset in the warmest-bluest-green water of my life, having to go by boat everywhere. Those are just a few of the highlights off hand. I suppose taking so long to post makes it difficult to fit it all in, but like I said, I was on an island, internet wasn't cheap my friends.

Well...tomorrow I might go into Hong Kong or I might stick around the island I am on. I just read my friends blog and which helped me get in touch with the ol' liturgical calendar. Definetly didn't see Ash Wednesday come and go. So I want to slow down and little bit and focus on that. Maybe more thoughts on that later. As for now, thanks for reading my posts even though the page is pretty ugly. Maybe i'll decorate it Guizhou style.

In Cambodia

I've gone quite the distance since the last time I wrote. We went from the Central Highlands of Vietnam to Saigon (HCMC to be PC) for two days, then on to the Mekong Delta for two more days, a day of traveling, a day in Phnom Penh, Cambodia, another day of traveling, and then TODAY we were to the temples of Angkor. Just amazing temples and architecture. That tied in with the setting makes for just solid moments of awe. Angkor Wat was pretty sweet, but I really enjoyed the Temple of Tam Prohm. They were all cool in one way or another. We have two more days of temple exploring ahead of us and then on to Thailand (I have no idea what we are going to do there). We went to the Killing Fields in Phnom Penh. If you aren't familiar with the genocide that took place there you should stop reading and google it right now to become informed. It was pretty tough stuff to see and really hits you deep, I just hope to keep it with me and not forget it. We also spent a couple days on the Mekong Delta and that was definitely a trip highlight. Basically anytime I get on a boat it moves to a trip highlight and I spent two days on a boat so...I guess that explains it. I hope to post some pictures some day (when I get them downloaded and all that). As for now...the internet cafes in Cambodia are more expensive than in Vietnam thus I feel I am getting cheated and am signing off, so I hope all is well. More stories later.

On to a new city

We left Hoi An two days ago. I didn't make it unscathed. I ended up getting a pair of black leather dress shoes made and some long shorts, aka- "man capris" (so I can fit in with all the European travelers). But both were pretty great deals and I am really happy with the shoes, I mean, they were made for me feet, you can't go wrong with that. I am pretty picky though, I couldn't find a shoe for them to copy (in like 4 catalogues) so I had them combine a couple and it worked really well. Definitely a purchase for the States though, I don't really have any need for them in China, in fact, it's so dirty there I am not sure I would want to wear them. We are in Nha Trang now, its in the Southern part of the country and is a beach town. We took a night bus with just seats to get here so we were out of it yesterday. Today we went on a boat tour to some different islands. I went snorkeling for a little while and managed to see a couple cool fish despite the below quality equipment-my mask was purple and pink and looked like it came out of the toy aisle at Fred Meyer. But overall the trip was a lot of fun and there were plenty of beautiful sites and all the crystal blue green water you could ask for. And despite my whiteness I managed to stay relatively burn free. I guess it helps that Jen is packing SPF 50 suntan lotion that I have to use since there is nothing else. We are sticking around here tomorrow as well and then we are on to the city of Dalat in the south central highlands. As for right now, I am going to shower and try and get this dried salt off me and then try convince the girls that they want to splurge for Indian food. Cheers (we've run into a lot of Australians here, I'm picking up some of the overused lines).

Some of the places I have been...

I'm 9ish days into my adventure and everything is going well. So far we have visited a few different places in Vietnam and it has been quite the experience. We havent had too many chances to get the internet, so now that I have it I will do a brief highlight reel of my thoughts and experiences in the different places as well as a little background info...

Hanoi...the capital of Vietnam, a pretty big city (about 6 million), in the north. some words to describe it...1. motorbikes-so many you wouldnt believe. zooming everywhere. you can't escape them. crossing the street is pure madness. 2. foreigners-there were so many tourists there, there are still so many tourists. it has been a long long time since i have seen this many white people. but it is frustrating being treated like a western tourist. i am not on the same budget as they are and in a lot of ways dont think the same way because of my time in China, just small stuff, but noticable none the less and a pain on my pocketbook. i went to bed exhausted because i had to argue for decent prices all day long. it actually made me glad that guiyang doesnt have much of a western presence. 3. coffee-vietnam has some powerful and amazing coffee, i think i have had some everyday i have been here...good stuff.

Halong Bay...in Northwest Vietnam on the South China Sea. Over 5000 limestone islands. Just beautiful. some words... 1. boats-we slept on a boat one night and cruised a couple afternoons on a boat. there were so many boats and tourists, but you didnt notice when we were moving. the boat wasnt too nice, but it was nice enough. 2. mice-jen and susie had some food that was eaten by mice in there room on the boat (or maybe rats), but I am thankful i didnt run into any. 3. kayaking-went kayaking for 40 minutes, a little disappointing, i would have liked to go all day, but that wasnt part of the tour. 4. Cat Ba Island-stayed on this island for a night, a nice quiet break from hanoi, it was beautiful, felt like i was in Jurassic Park-minus the dinosaurs. 5. $45-the cost of the 3 day/2 night tour 6. 100+ Pictures-number of pictures i took from the top of the boat of the bay around me, it was amazing, just epic. pictures and word can't describe.

Hue...in the middle of Vietnam. historic capital. some words...1. sleeper bus-second sleeper bus of the trip, much better than the first, but at the same time not. i took a middle bed and found myself crunched, literally. i woke up every 45 minutes after having my body scream at me in pain. i found out at 5 am that the other beds were longer and had totally gotten the short end of the deal. oh well, i was rested enough. 2. the citadel-just cruised around the ancient walled portion of the city looking at older sites, laid back, nothing too exciting, only stayed 24 hours

Hoi An...120 km south of Hue. Coastal town with river. some words... 1. Tailors-tons of them here. you can get ANYTHING made. if i a.) needed a suit b.) had a place to put a suit c.) wanted to pay the $50 for a suit... i would get a really nice suit made. but instead i think i am going to opt out for some man capris...yeah...i just feel like i should fit in with all of the european tourists traveling through vietnam. 2. my current location-i am here now, for a few days. there is a beach i am hoping to bike to tomorrow. it was rainy today though, so hopefully tomorrow is better.

Some side notes...i havent been too impressed with the food, it is all kind of bland. i am used the the spice of guizhou. i havent paid over $4 a night for lodging. we have gotten some deals. it has been a cheaper part of the trip. i am not sure where jen and susie are right now. i left them roughly three blocks from the hotel about an hour ago and they have yet to show up, even though i feel like they should have finished at the tailors 40 minutes ago. i am going to look for them. thus, more updates later.

We made it to Vietnam

Well, I made it to Vietnam. There were a lot of things working against us, including but not limited too: confusion with Vietnamese Visas, sold out bus tickets, bad directions, etc. But we worked through all of the problems (we bought a ticket two hours from the border and took another bus from there) and we made it to Vietnam. Right now I am at an internet cafe in a border town waiting for our train to depart. So far Vietnam has been good though. No one stares at you and you talk to people in English instead of using hand gestures and broken Chinese. So no complaints. We have been on the go now since the evening of the 5th and everything has gone well. I will continue to keep you updated with good stories and memorable events. Here is one for starters...We arrrived to the bus station last night only to find that all but two of the tickets to our destination were sold out. We made Suzie talk with the lady and she found out we could take a bus to a small town and then take another bus from there, although we had no idea what time the bus would leave from the town. So we decided, why not, and went for it (only after we were sure it was actually on the way). But the best part of this story is the sleeper bus. Let's just say that Chinese Sleeper buses make for experiences that no one over 175 cm (5'10") should ever have to endure. I fit in my "bed," but barely. If you picture a mummy laying down, that was me. Arms crossed, feet flush against the foot of the bed and no room to move left or right. We were all in top bunks and just laid there laughing for the first hour of the trip. I was just happy to be on the next leg to Vietnam and to be moving because everyone had taken there shoes off to lay down and it was smelling a little bit. But the story ends well. We got off our bus, bought tickets and got on another bus and were on our way to the border-only a 15 minute layover, couldn't have worked better if we planned it. Of course Chinese minibuses are a whole new expierence. If you are on a minibus through rural China you can usually expect three things: really bumpy roads (check), a lot of cigarette smoke (check), and some great views (check). We traveled over mountains covered in banana tree farm forests. And viewed other amazing mountains through the morning fog. Not bad, not bad. T-minus 5.5 hours until our departure to Hanoi.

Christmas

12/27/07



It's all been kind of surreal. I am not sure if it happened or what. It was a glimpse of what every Christmas in the past has been, but it's been so different. Is it maybe a good thing to have experienced it in a new light without the standard traditions and events that we sometimes misconstrue to "make" the holiday? That doesn't make missing those events and that time with the family any easier though.



It was quite different, but at the same time, some things were pleasantly similar…At seven o'clock on Christmas Eve I was sitting in a dimly lit room watching a candle lighting service (not at the service in a sanctuary, but similar). On Christmas morning I went upstairs and ate scrambled eggs, blueberry muffins, and two pieces of bacon (not eaten at my Grandmother's/my house, but very very similar). I then read the Christmas story and opened presents with "family" members (not real family members, but my sisters here in China). And after opening presents I spoke with my family in the states (Abby found baby J, for those of you familiar with my family's Christmas traditions. I let my dad take my place this year, a giant controversy in and of itself, but I got to pick the hiding place-the freezer, maybe a little insensitive, but so was the manger and they say it was a cold night, so I figure it's historically accurate. But Abby had given up searching, was eating pie in the kitchen, and randomly spotted the star on the fridge. It was the longest indoor search in family history.) After that conversation I went over to my friend's home, a British family-the husband teaches at my university, and celebrated Christmas in true British fashion. We went over about midday (a highly disputed word, but in British terms it strictly means noon) and we had a very large lunch, played games, sang carols, and just relaxed. It was a great day. A lot of the people I have become close with since I have arrived were there and the family's hospitality is unrivaled. There is no way you can't feel at home when you visit their home. It was great, I learned about many British Christmas traditions (tea rings and crackers, for example) and I wrestled a lot with their young children-who I also tried convincing at every possible opportunity that the U.S. was better than England, just to get a rise out of their mother who jokes about her fears that her children will be made fun of by the other kids when they return to England next year because they have spent too much time with Americans. Great food, great company, a great focus on the reason for the season, it was a very good day.



Things back home went well too. There was a family memory time for my Grandma that I was told went very well. That's all kind of surreal too. I know it is different back home and at times it has hit me, but I don't think there will be anyway to truly grasp that until I am home and she isn't there.



But that was my Christmas. Overall, it was as good as it could have been for being on the other side of the world and it being my first Christmas away from home. I am going to celebrate New Year's with some of the same friends, which I am excited about. And right now I am busy planning my trip to SE Asia. Rough outline is 20 days in Vietnam, 6 days in Cambodia, 10 days in Thailand, then on to Hong Kong for a conference and hopefully to see a friend from Seattle. I am done with classes, which is great. I have been reading a lot too. Working on one by N.T. Wright, it's good stuff.

A few stories from the last couple weeks…

12/22/07

I have been giving exams this week to my non-majors students. I co-teach these students with other teachers (Chinese English Teachers). I didn't think I would have to give them an exam, but I found out a couple weeks ago I had to judge their speaking ability. Two teachers that I teach with suggested the best way to assess this would be to interview all of them, all 500 of them. I reluctantly agreed and have thus spent 20 hours the last week two weeks choosing from a list of about 10 questions and listening to responses in Chinese-English (I specify Chinese-English because it isn't normal English, it is draining to listen to and requires a lot of patience and head nodding. It breeds a whole new type of mental toughness, or insanity.). But I made it through. It really wasn't too bad. Well, maybe it was. Four hours straight no breaks of that, let's just say the other foreign teachers here have laughed and then said sorry when I told them about my classes these last two weeks.



I have gone to a couple Christmas parties in the last week. Chinese parties are different than American parties. For example to party I went to with the people I do the English Book Study with-It had an agenda. It had performances. It had speakers and songs. It had chairs and desks set up in a square that we had to sit in. It was not a party. I don't know why they choose to call it such, but I think a new word needs to be created for it. It's just not right. And almost everything was in Chinese so I needed it translated. Granted it wasn't bad and it really recognized the reason for Christmas, but it wasn't a party as you and I know a party. This fact resulted in us being really nervous about singing Feliz Navidad when it came time for our performance, but it went ok and the mood lightened slightly, but only slightly. It was a poor performance by myself and two other Americans, the energy just wasn't there.



It happened again…a cooking disaster. I had the best of intentions to make Christmas cookies. I bought or gathered everything I needed, and I even have an oven now (a cross between a toaster oven and a conventional oven) to use. One thing I had to borrow was flour. My friend gave me "flour," only after adding three cups I decided the consistency wasn't right and what she thought was flour was actually baking soda. Thus, it resulted in a major failed attempt to make cookies. I am just glad I didn't try and bake them or eat them. Either way, it was eerily similar to the Thanksgiving sweet potato incident.



I have received several AMAZING (in the wow, this is hilarious sense of the word) Christmas gifts from students. Here is a small list…

-A Yao Ming Piggy Bank with Yao throwing up the victory (peace) sign-this is my favorite

-Apples, apples, and more apples

-A book about Confucius in Chinese

-A music box with dancing birds that says "My Best Friend" on it

-Wine and Chocolate

-A notebook

-An ethnic minority decoration

-A tea cup

-Over 15 cheesy Santa cards

-Another bottle of wine



I received a Christmas box from my mom. It's amazing (in the true sense of the word). It has wrapped presents in it, which are now under the tree in my friends apartment I will celebrate Christmas at. It had English toffee and Christmas cookies (good things since mine didn't quite work). It had a small fiber optic Christmas tree-they were all the rage 4 or 5 years ago, I still like them. A couple ornaments and just a whole lot of love. It made my month. It will be tough to be away for Christmas, I am really thankful for this box and the wonderful family that sent it.