mom, look! i did it!

i did it! i put it to the test. you see for my last six months in china (minus my extended vacation time) i have had chinese tutoring once a week. the experience has been one of quite mixed feelings. i will share a few...i think our (i have lessons with a friend that works with the same company) tutor is incredibly awkward at times-in a not all that warm, encouraging, socially aware, etc kind of way. she isn't what i would say is the ideal person to practice a freshly learned language with. but in the end, not a big deal, i get over it. but there's another thing. i don't really study. i usually just cram right before the lesson. and one last block worth noting. often, when i do attempt to use my newly acquired language skills i am either a.) corrected by my student who has encouraged me to speak a little bit or b.) spoken back to in the local dialect. when you have a hard time listening to the real deal, the local dialect doesn't even approach the radar screen. but this all brings us to today. having recently cleared my schedule to go on a trip to Tiger Leaping Gorge i was in need of a train ticket to Kunming. knowing i would be traveling by myself during the trip i realized i would need to be able to book my own transportation and i figured if i can't do it in my own city, than i might as well not go because i surely won't make it. so i studied my words and said to myself, i just have to control the situation (really my listening is that awful). so i went to get the ticket, waited in line, then started having doubts, saying to myself, "wait, the last time i bought a ticket (was with my chinese friend who bought my ticket), i went to other window. am i in the right line? can i buy a ticket at this window? how do i ask if this window sells train tickets? maybe this isn't such a great idea" and i left the line. i had lost the battle. i looked at what time the window closed and went on my way to walmart. it was a nice day so i walked the mile to walmart (i figured i better start preparing for this hike one way or another) and on my trip convinced myself again, that it was completely necessary to buy the ticket myself. so i rushed through my shopping, walked the mile back to get the ticket. this time, there was a line for the correct window. i waited, i approached the window, i said, "wo yao qu kunming" (i want to go to kunming) answered his questions and only had to do my 'speak jibberish and hope they just take care of whatever questions they are asking you themselves' routine once. i did it. i successfully bought the ticket. after i inspected to make sure it really was the ticket i wanted, i was beaming like a small child, as if saying, "mom, look! i did it! i spoke four sentences and nodded my head, all by myself!" haha, wow. i suppose it is the simple things sometimes that amuse us. hopefully i will be able to get the other 4 tickets i need now to get back home (don't worry mom, i am sure i can, and if not i can always just call a friend, ptl for technology). so yeah. that's my language learning process for ya. i am definitely not quiting my day job.

so what's new?

"What I am I up to?" You ask. Well. Big news of late is...I bought a plane ticket home-via Europe. Actually, going to Europe was originally purely recreational, but with what it costs to fly out of China to the states this summer it has also become a semi-economical decision also. My airfare is much cheaper even with a stop in Europe (into Switzerland to see my amazing friends and then flying out of Dublin because it was ridiculously cheap and I am currently overly intrigued with Ireland/have always been/will continue to be). So I am pretty excited about those travel plans. Although, it will be another four months until I am actually home and three months before I leave to travel through China and Europe, but I know that will be here all too soon. Which is really weird to think about, but I am reflecting on it for the sole purpose of making sure I am ready/I have done all I desire to before it arrives. But I am being careful not to focus on it too much and lose track of what I am doing here. Back to the traveling though. We have next Friday off so I might try and swing an extended weekend. I am thinking about trying to rearrange my Wednesday class and taking off on Tuesday for Tiger Leaping Gorge in Yunnan Province. It's arguably one of China's greatest natural attractions after the "rooftop of the world." Which I have axed travel plans for, much to my dismay, but not nearly as dismaying as the situation itself, keep it in your thoughts. Tiger Leaping Gorge would be a Tuesday-Sunday trip. So five days. It should be a week, so I would be pushing it. The way it shakes down though I can't really pass up this opportunity. So I think I am going to do it. It will be a nice birthday present to myself, ha. I will keep you updated on that though (not sure who exactly "you" is, but anyway...). Besides traveling, been teaming up good conversations with good meals lately so that's been great. Love how food opens doors-amazing. In other news-still waiting to hear back about the next stage of job interviewing (it will be a process-Spring Break and busyness is at hand for the interviewers), currently battling mold in the apartment, trying to pick up a little guitar, leading my online bracket pool even though I haven't watched one game this year(go MSU!-yes I did pick them for my final four. I figure I look dang good if it happens and only like someone who is a little too invested in the Big Ten if it doesn't, seeing as how I also through Wisconsin in there too. It feels like '05 though), and I might go to an azalea festival this weekend. So yup, that's the shakedown. Sorry about the lack of paragraphs, the excess of run-ons, and the numerous parenthetical wanderings.

bringing down the thunder

i've seen a new side to guiyang this week. spring thunderstorms. it's been amazing. i love thunderstorms. it's something i miss greatly when i am living in the NW. tonight we've had a great one. kind of almost like two separate ones. i realize in some people's eyes this may not seem worthy of a blog post and i may have well been in that boat until just a few minutes ago i was brushing my teeth and there was such a strong blast of thunder that a car alarm was set off. i said to myself, this storm just hit blog status. the pounding rain, soaked jeans, and saturated shoes wasn't enough. i needed something like the car alarm and it happened and thus, you have now read about it.

oh...ummm...hello

i walked into what i thought was going to be my first class with a group of adult students only to discover that i was wrong. it was my second class with the same group of adults i had met just a couple of days before. i was not informed that i would have them twice a week and i had made the assumption that i would have two different first year adult classes (a healthy assumption because i have not met one person who sees the same class twice in one week). so i guess i am the first. but it was ok. we were kicked out of the classroom because the department double booked it and thus wandered for about five minutes. this gave me time to make up a lesson plan out of thin air for a class of 20 very limited english speakers. luckily i had three students from my second year class who wanted to also come to this class so i decided i would split the class into groups and have my second year students help lead the groups. this would have worked out splendidly, but they aren't my strongest students. so instead i am running around helping them discuss topics WAY over their level. no worries, new plan of attack. just talk and write down whatever comes out of my mouth and then define it. this worked for a little while, but got old quick. another plan-go to break and dig through your notebook to find something you did last semester that would work. perfect! found some pronunciation activities which, after i defined pronunciation, worked splendidly.

it was good though, you see, the chinese are all about face. about not losing face to be more specific. so for example they would have acted like nothing was wrong when they saw it was the same class and they didn't have a lesson plan and they would have had them bust out their books and read from them (i suppose they don't need lesson plans because they do that anyway. hmmm). but me, nope, not concerned about that at all. i taught the class a new word-surprise! i explained the situation to them-i am pretty sure they didn't comprehend. but it made me feel better about stammering and stalling my way through the entire class because i am too stubborn to have them mindlessly read through their books and put forth no effort whatsoever. the makeshift lesson plan went alright. it wasn't too painful at all. and i think they enjoyed it even. but the problem now is that my lesson planning time for this class just doubled. thats alright, i think they will be a lot of fun. its nice to have them early in their learning, now they can pick up michigan accents and learn to laugh at my jokes. anyway, just another random story about the beauty of cultural differences in communication and just going with it. gotta watch out for those assumptions.

so that's what's new. other than the fact that the march madness bracket just came out and MSU is a 5 seed in a pretty easy regional and have a great chance of coming out of it if they can play like they are capable of (a huge if, BUT they have done it in the past-2004 (?) when they got to the final four and of course in the late 90's through 01 when they hung out in the final four quite often. so i'm hopeful, just as i am every march. let's just hope they don't lose in the first round). so keep your eyes on the tourney. i haven't seen a single game this season and i actually didn't follow most of the season because i was traveling, but i think i am picking ucla. collison is just really good and love is a monster inside. and they play defense. but they are a 1 seed. i hate going chalk. i just feel like it means i wasted any time that i did put into watching/following the season. but then again, that's been very few hours this year like i said, so i suppose i am justified. well that's enough rambling about all of that.

oh and happy st. patrick's day.

mmeaaa...

i interviewed today for a job. i don't know if you have ever been so lucky as to phone interview from overseas, but well, let's just say, it's an experience. i had a plan. wake up an hour before interview time (6:00 am). get some coffee and breakfast in me. shower. put the tie on. yeah, that's right. had to get in game mode so i wore the tie for the phone interview. i am still debating if i should have changed out of my puppy slippers though to really complete it though. anyway. i was feeling good about the plan and all and i had been prepping for a week with answers and my thoughts about the job. but the interview began and i felt little prepared to be in the situation i found myself in. i toughed it out and wrestled through and wouldn't call it a bad experience, it just felt as though i couldn't articulate my thoughts and the passion that brought me to the job (no doubt a very frustrating experience). all is well though. i know that me being placed in this job is bigger than an initial interview. if i have learned anything here it is that the Father takes care of us and guides our paths and we just need to pursue Him.

beyond that...it was a good week. i got bumped up to teaching sixteen hours. which is ok. that's the credit max, but my classes are pretty laid back and my lesson planning and grading is minimal. it was good to see my adult students for the first time in over two months and i enjoyed a good lunch with some of my new music students today so that was great as well. i have two classes of brand new adult students and their english is lacking to say the least. this is ok. i had imagined i would find myself in this position for the majority of my classes, but all of my other classes have had decent enough comprehension that there hasn't been a problem. but these are new classes, so i am excited for the challenge and call for creativity. i just feel bad for the students, i think they are a little overwhelmed right now. at least by judging by there reactions today, especially the despaired reaction of one girl after i told her i didn't speak any chinese (after i was asked the question in chinese). so not entirely true, and i have been intending to increase my studying and commitment to language acquisition, but i hold a strict no chinese policy in my classes.

anyway. that's me. good week this week. minus a slight run in with the meat cleaver, but i am typing again with my index finger now so that's a good sign. bought episodes 7-11 of planet earth today (i already own 1-6). amazing. watching a wolverine eat a caribou right now-just a little disturbing. trying to put up travel pictures on my facebook right now. two albums down, one, maybe two to go. if you want me to send you the link let me know (you don't need facebook). alright, bed time. mei you xiuxi jin tian. wo lei le. (i had no nap today. i am tired.)

a broken heart and runny noses

My heart was broken this week-27 times. You see, I go to the orphanage every Wednesday. We go during the day and visit with the children. The thing is the quote-unquote normal children are at school. So I play with the disabled children. There are younger children as well, but there are plenty of people lining up to hold babies in the baby room. I make a beeline for the ruckus raisers. Lately there has been just two of us, for the 27 kids in the room-the number fluctuates. It really does break my heart going to the orphanage. I can't really articulate it. I can't really make it real for you. There is just such a need for love. I know I wrote back in October or so, but it continues to be a huge part of my experience here. A huge part and its just 2 hours a week. I Think about these kids all throughout the week, hoping that they know they are loved even though they get little attention, little interaction. I hadn't been for a while because I was out of town. When I got back there a handful of new kids. A autistic boy, a downes boy, and a few others. They are so much fun, they desire to be picked up and twirled around. To take a ride around the room on your back like they are actually flying in the air. To be shown attention, affection, and care. It can be challenging. Just an example...A kid wrapped his arms around my neck to be picked up this week and as I hoisted him up into my arms I could just smell his drooled on coat. Drool that's been accumulating on a coat for who knows how long is no gentle smell. I would go as far to say its abrasive, thus the tears that came to my eyes. But it doesn't matter, because whay can he do about it? All he knows is that now that he's in my arms, he in for something EPIC, even if it is just a trip that winds through beds and around tables and chairs.

There is this little girl there. Maybe four, probably five though (they look so much younger than they are). She can't talk. I really have no idea why. But if you hold her and sing to her she will kind of hum with you. And when you hold her she just rests so peacefully in your arms, resting her head on your shoulder, as if she is saying, everything is ok. But it's only for a moment-I doubt she gets picked up again until we come again. My heart was broken as I held her this week and looked around the room at all of the children. There was no way I could show them they are loved. I try, we try. We bounce from one to the other to the other, trying to give them all attention, to hold them, to help them color, to lift them to up so they can touch the ceiling and for a moment forget that they even though they are ten years old can't even stand straight enough or high enough to open the door. They are all loved. And I try and show them that, but it seems impossible. Even as orphans I Hope they know they have a Father who loves them.

Close...but not quite

I buy this "wheat" bread from the bakery on campus. it looks like wheat bread (most times-sometimes there are bits of white, which adds weight to the upcoming theory), but it doesn't really taste like wheat bread. I am thinking they just put some coloring or something in it and call it "wheat" bread. You might find yourself saying, really? But yes, really. It is totally something that would happen in China-specifically in my city. See something "Western" and cut corners to imitate it. Use wheat flour? Heck no. Just put some of that brown coloring stuff in the white flour and call it good. I'm not complaining, I am just sharing. Most times its just more amusing than frustrating. I bet I could even have a blog committed only to poor western food imitations found here, yeah, just food. At least the PB & J on the bread is solid. I did have some legit bread the other day though. It was a fatty unsliced loaf from Walmart (did you know we have two Walmarts?), I made some clutch French toast with it. It's tough to get back to Walmart though, so I suppose the "wheat" bread will have to do for now, along with the not quite right chocolate milk.

On a random note. I replaced the light in my kitchen today. It had been out almost four months. If I ever needed to work in my kitchen after dark I just slipped my head lamp on. I think this might help you understand how much time I spend in my kitchen. Why cook when you can eat every meal for cheaper if you out AND no dishes. I mean come on, that's win-win.

job app

I am working on a job application right now. So basically you could categorize this blog post as 100 percent complete procrastination. I am stuck on an question of my spiritual journey. I find it hard to get that kind of stuff down on paper. I could ramble on and on about it, but if you ask me to write about it I end up with a page full of one or two sentence sections that have a thousand thoughts after each of them and nothing of any real...flow or worth to the readers of the application. I think I will finish most of the app tonight though. I know this because a) I have to get it done as soon as possible and b) because I have procrastinated in every possible single way and its just 6:15 pm, 5 hours before I am going to go to bed. That's a lot of time to do nothing of significance. So I suppose I might as well work on it with complete focus. The thing is, I really want to the job and I think that's the reason behind the procrastination. I want my passion, vision, and desire to shine through on the application, thus I have to chose my words carefully and well. I am not a writer, I'm more of a talker. Or at least I have convinced myself of such. But that's enough about this job application. On to something else like what I am doing right now in life, anyway? Well. I am back teaching again. I will have a full week this week. Which I am not sure if that is 14 or 16 hours of class. I have attempted to get my complete schedule, but have been unsuccessful, so I am still unsure. Either way, that's ok. I know I have class tomorrow morning...at least I think I do. Maybe I should make some phone calls here. But I am back at it. I taught last week and it went well. The students were excited to see me and it was good to see them as well. I was just writing an email to a friend and remarked on how much time I have left in China and it really isn't much. I have 17 weeks of teaching left and then probably 3 weeks of traveling. 17 may seem like a lot to some people, but the first week went SO fast that I am pretty sure the next 17 will be a whirlwind as well. I am pretty excited though. This semester will be a busy one, at least I desire it to be so-in a healthy kind of way, and I am looking forward to continuing to teach my students the best I can and to get to know them better and spend more time with them. It should be good. Well, I need to do some damage on this app, so I best be done for now.