uh oh...

i have been working full time at Q for less than three weeks now and i am already sipping on straight espresso like its no big thing (quite a change from a few years back when i didn't even drink drip). no caffeine headaches yet though, so i am not really worried. i will keep you posted on that though.

new drink fascination...espresso con panna.

recognizing the cycle and stepping out

i own one movie. ok, i take that back. i own three. two of which were gifts. actually, i withdrawal the last statement as well. i did purchase a number of "red" market dvds in china. i may or may not continue to have some in storage at home in michigan. and by in storage i mean i put them somewhere and i didn't find them last time i was home. all that said the one movie i have ever like enough to buy was gladiator.

a real "guys film" i was all about gladiator the first time i saw it. somewhere along the line a store had it on sale and i bought it. obviously i don't buy many dvds (i am pretty cheap and i really don't like watching movies i have seen before), but i decided to go for it with gladiator. now it's been a while since i have actually watched it, but i had the opportunity a couple weeks ago (this shows how on top of blogging i am). this time as i watched the movie it had a real different tone. no maybe it was my mood, maybe the books i have been reading, or the discussions i've been having with friends, but i had some major issues with it (and as it turns out, a lot of movies that come out of hollywood). one of the books i am reading right now is jesus for president by shane claiborne and he talks a bit about violence and peoples response to that, particularly the response that society is conditioned to have. the premise of gladiator is betrayal, ruthless murders, senseless killing, and revenge. a major injustice is done in the killing of his wife and son and he is set to have his revenge. now i am all about strong responses to injustice, but the movie rests on the fact that the only response that will satisfy the viewer is the death of the new caeser who ordered the killing of his family. its the predictable typical response. we see it in life and in hollywood all the time. but the question claiborne talks about and that i have is it the only response? in the gospels so many of christ's parables and teachings stand on the idea of a different kind of response. not a response of violence and revenge, but one of love, mercy, and compassion. turn the other cheek-which doesn't necessarily speak to getting hit again, but looking your oppressor in the eye so they recognize your humanness before they go to strike you. or give your cloak AND your shirt, not because you are "generous" but to show how ridiculous greed can be. these responses can stop injustice in its track and that is what we are called to do. its no surprise to anyone that violence really does exist as a vicious circle. can we truly fight injustice with violence?

ok, so i know its entertainment and we can't always take it too seriously, but i guess i feel we too often don't take it seriously enough. christ calls us to be creative in our responses to injustices to hear the cry of the oppressed and come to answer it. he calls us to love and act justly and mercifully. but how will this ever be natural if we just flood ourselves with uncreative responses like that seen in gladiator and so many other films and societal influences out there. how do we foster creativity to fight real injustice. injustices like internally displaced peoples (such as the karen people in burma or the people of eastern congo), women caught up in the sex trade, children dying because of lack of food or clean water, people in our city being denied housing, or people losing their lives as casualties of war. christ calls us to love these people and so many others who are marginalized and oppressed, but we so often lack the creativity to do that. i know i for one just get angry and frustrated. this creativity though, it has to be fostered. if you don't use it, express it, discuss it then it doesn't grow, it atrophies, and it certainly isn't useful.

so abandon hollywood? nah, not completely, but do i see a need to broaden my perspective on exactly how "entertainment" affects me and what i may constitute as a good movie? yeah, i think so. i know good, loving, creative responses aren't always easy to come up with and easy to make it happen, it's probably best i do what i can to advance that rather than exposing myself to the same methods and staying stuck in the same cycle of thought.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." -Einstein

word

Making a point to spend some time in the Word this week. It's (unfortunately) often one of the first things to go when I get busy and it is missed, and it's always gone for too long before I realize how much I need it and enjoy reading it. A couple passages stuck out and I was going to journal about them, but figured, why not put them on the blog.

"As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds, and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ" 1 Thes. 1:3 My understanding is always deepened by working the verses out in a different way (while keeping the meaning of course)...because of Christ we are faithful in our work, our deeds are loving, and we have enduring hope.

"We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory" 1 Thes. 2:12 This makes me think of a Francis Chan quote that Abby posted the other day..."Our greatest fear as individuals and as a church should not be of failure but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter."

The theme that is sticking out to me about 1 Thessalonians is that of faithfulness. We serve a faithful God and he desires us to be faithful, righteous, and holy. It is interesting Paul throws out a lot of different things about living this holy life, but none seem all too complicated. Just that same true message of loving others, so thus calling us to be responsible with our lives and the way we interact with others so that people may see how Christ works through us and is present in us. It's always funny (a tactful adjective among many others that could have been chosen) how easily other things are added on to that message.

The New Year

It's 2009. A new year. 2008 was a year of firsts in a lot of ways. I experienced many new things and learned more than I even realize. But I am excited for 2009. Two things in particular are worth noting at the present time...

First off. I live in Seattle. I have an apartment here, my own room, a space. Maybe not a huge thing, but I spent over half of 2008 living out of a bag. It is nice to go back to my "home" at night (even though I loved the assortment of places I stayed the last year). And it's exciting to be in Seattle, investing in a community, living life and...

Secondly, having a new job. I am the new cafe manager at Q Cafe, a small non-profit cafe in Seattle. I am working behind the bar about 30 hours a week and then spend the rest of my time doing financial/inventory/scheduling/MARKETING stuff. I have been at a week now (officially). Thus far, it's been great and it's been busy. I am excited to be a part of such a great thing and looking to learn a lot in my time working.

There is more going on, but I need to get in the groove a bit more before I can start posting like I ideally would prefer to. It will happen, I am confident. Hope the new year is treating you well.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas! So I am home in Michigan and it has been great. I have wanted to blog more, but I just can't face my 28k internet for that long, it's draining. But I really wanted to post on this special day. I want to share a poem written by Henry Wordsworth Longfellow during the Civil War...

'I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come, The belfries of all Christendom Had rolled along The unbroken song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way, The world revolved from night to day, A voice, a chime, A chant sublime Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth The cannon thundered in the South, And with the sound The carols drowned Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent The hearth-stones of a continent, And made forlorn The households born Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head; "There is no peace on earth," I said: "For hate is strong, And mocks the song Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep: "God is not dead; nor doth he sleep! The Wrong shall fail, The Right prevail, With peace on earth, good-will to men!" '

...So we may no longer be hearing cannons from the south, but I know for me there is so much brokenness in the world that it easily takes the cannons place and drowns out the bells, their carols, and the words of peace on earth, good-will to men. But we must be truly thankful for today. The songs chime louder than the sounds of hate because of today. Because of Jesus Christ, God incarnate. How powerful the incarnation is. Simply mindblowing. Or rather, profoundly mindblowing. A truly awesome thing. I sit here in wonder as I only begin to think about it. Today I am happy to be celebrating the coming of a babe who turned the world on its head and gave, and continues to give, hope to all.

Merry Christmas.

advent

i have been meaning to post about advent for some time. well, really just since it started. so in the perfect blogging world i would have posted 9 days ago on this. i didn't post right away though because i wanted to give advent its due. growing up advent meant christmas was close, like really close. i knew once those purple banners started being walked down to aisle on sunday morning that my christmas list should already be passed to my mom and that soon we would have a break from school and that i would get to see my family and that it was just a great time of year. none of that is a bad thing (well, besides the shallow consumeristic desires of my childhood christmas lists, but that is a whole other post in and of itself), but none of it really had anything to do with advent. for me advent equaled almost christmas. which, isn't necessarily wrong, but it isn't necessarily right. the last couple years my understanding, or rather my desire to understand advent has grown. i no longer look past it to christmas, but i want to recognize it and learn from and thus perhaps my christmas experience will carry the significance that it is worthy of. i want to spend at least a few posts on the topic of advent because this will enable me to continue to learn more and will remind me to continue to prepare for christmas.

i have learned a lot in my initial readings about advent. some good basics like advent is latin for 'to come.' and how the candles mean different things in different traditions, but some of the basics are christ is the light of the world, expectation/joy, and christ is the prince of peace. one thing that i thought was interesting was this kind of debate as advent became more recognized as to whether it was a season of penitence and fasting or anticipation and hope or celebration. i guess people didn't really want two lents so they felt the had to throw a little anticipation and hope in the mix. in reflecting on it a bit i think it is good it is all these dynamics. with advent being the first season of the church calendar, it is (obviously) the beginning of the church year. this got me thinking of the beginnings of people's spiritual journeys. so often the beginning is all about recognizing a need. for our own personal faith story we start out with the realization that we need a savior to come and reconcile us to God. as a church we also realize we need Christ. its good that every year the church starts out knowing that Christ has come and that we don't have it all figured out and that he is coming again. because he will some day come and fully redeem this world. so why shouldn't this be a complex season with feelings of penitence, hope, AND celebration. christ's incarnation was a big deal. huge. i really think we aren't humanly able to even approach an understanding of all its implications. but i don't want to get ahead of myself, it's not quite christmas yet. the sole reminder of beginnings and how much we needed and now very much still need a savior and how the feelings of penitence, hope, and celebration all tie into that will keep me thinking for some time.

genuine thankfulness and genuine service

this saturday my church, quest, hosted a thanksgiving meal for the homeless community. actually, they hosted two meals. a five o'clock and a seven o'clock. over 150 homeless people came and were fed. but it wasn't just about the food. the invitation and the fellowship were instrumental in making the night "a success." the people i talked to were so happy and so appreciative to be there. to see them enjoying each other's company as they ate is what really made it a thanksgiving meal. it was great to be able to sit down with them and hear their stories and talk about their experiences.

but as i think about it a couple days later the thing that strikes me isn't the 150 people served, but the 50 people who volunteered to make it all happen. people were more than willing to come and help. there were more than enough people to set up, decorate, cook, serve, sit and chat, and clean up. i even think pastor deanza had to turn away help because so many people volunteered. people (me included) really wanted to help and be involved. quest is pretty clear about its stance on how believers need to be serving the poor and marginalized and this was a great example of that. not just the meal itself, but the number of people turning out to help for it. but i am still a little concerned...

i guess i kind of fear that we, the numerous volunteers, will look at our contribution, pat ourselves on the back, check off our service to the poor box, and wait until next year to think about how we can serve the homeless again, most likely, via the thanksgiving meal. but when christ talks about providing for the "least of these" it isn't a check a box off kind of service. its a-your heart yearns to provide for the least of these. you understood that serving the destitute was as true of a love for christ as one can find. you didn't do it to ease your conscience, but because you truly understood that christ called us to continually care for the poor. but how do we make caring for those in need part of the fabric of who we are? we need to make it so our heart is always seeking to serve, not just so our minds can feel at ease. but it does start with being intentional, looking to serve, and looking to do it as often as possible. i think part of the answer lies in something i already mentioned. quest cares about the poor and the marginalized. its leadership understands this and there is a core of people who really see christ in those who are in need in the community. lord willing that core becomes a core of 50+. that the social justice and compassion ministry is strengthened by the volunteers growing hearts. that quest members would continue to be encouraged and challenged in their service. that innovation and creativity would continue to spring up. that we would truly understand christ's call to serve the least of these all the time. lord hear our prayer.